Goodbye Sam

Mumma, Sam has left Australia and it is killing me. I don't understand how we we were bind together but it was just amazing with him on my side. When ever i miss u he would cheer me up, madr me smile and above all felt like my own family! Now its dark months ahead for me. Give me strength and courage to go on alone. All the best for your future kaaku find your happiness 

Been long

I know its been long mumma. I'm scared i am going to forget you someday. Sam is leaving and it breaks my heart. He comforted me when I missed you and stood by me. Its time life moves on. I dont want to stand back mumma. Things are going well with Noble and poppy. I hope I will my happiness too in June. Its so difficult to let people u love go mumma. 

Loss of Chachan

To cop up is not easy, but you gotta do it.  This time its chachan! He also succumbed to cancer. The word cancer may seem small and silly. It has taken two people I love from me. 

I couldnt see him or be with him during his hard time. Even when I went for visit didnt spend much time with him! His last days must have been so difficult. I just hope he is happy with my mom and his parents. He has gone to a better place. Grief will be there forever, but you move on. 

Daysss

838 days on this earth mumma. I still cry and wish to talk to you 

Depressed

Its month of August and don't knowbwhy all of a sudden I am depressed mumma. So much happening in life right now. Finally I said yes to Basty. I don't know if he is the right one for me but I feel so. In midst of all fights and stuffs we still feel for each other. I know i ve been in so many messed up relationships but I really want us to be together mumma. Do you remember him? He came to see you in church with me. 

Trip to India was a bore I would say. Nothing at all happened and everyone was so bothered about me being fat! I know mumma ive been dealing with my eating disorder for long. 

As I said before, everything seems odd to me now. Unrealistic and fading away while I'm watching. Sometimes I just wish you would come and take me away.