Dots

 I seem like nothing happened but inside I am dying a little bit more everyday. Bleeding has subsided and every last sign of what I had is disappearing. Mumma I don’t know how to get through this. Eventually I may but for now I am stuck in this vicious cycle of me going through the pain over and over again.
He is worried about me and doesn’t know what to do for me to be back to who I was. I have told him a 100 times its not his fault that I can’t be normal. Its just things in my head.

I hope you are listening and tell me what to do. 

Another Loss

Life is snatching away people from my life one by one. After 2 years of marriage I got to hear the best news of my life, that I will be a mum like you. Excited and scared and cant explain how I felt. As we prepared for the arrival of our newbie. Everything seemed normal until they found our newbie has no heartbeat. Life seemed to be turning upside down right in front of my eyes. Physically I was absolutely fine as there were no signs of anything but inside our newbie was no longer growing. Somehow I always felt like it was a boy and I hope he is with you mumma. There is no one else in this world who can take better care for my newbie than you. I leave him to be with you. Safe and happy until I see you up there. 

 

Its 2018

Happy Newyear Mumma,

It is 2018 and 4 years since you left for heaven. I really miss you. I still believe you are working in Dubai, which gives me peace of mind. I think I will leave it as it is!